at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
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