Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
4 words: hood of his car
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
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