remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
