I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Randomize