so explain again why im purple
no
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Randomize
