'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
as a side note pls kill me
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