Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
