Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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