carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
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