You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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