Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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