First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Randomize
