It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
