Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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