watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
