Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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