haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Randomize
