You're completely useless in the revolution.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
