my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize