Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Randomize
