she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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