We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
