i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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