I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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