Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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