P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
You have to summon your inner elephant
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
