its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
She just used a chaser for red wine.
This house was built for laser tag.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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