Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
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