Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
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