Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I think my nap took me to another dimension
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I'm experimenting with sincerity
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
