I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
