I wish I could punch you in the face.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
