Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
