Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
