thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
