My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
this hospital has no fireball
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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