I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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