If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I just gift wrapped bread.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
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