Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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