Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Randomize
