WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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