none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
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