yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
