Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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