Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
