i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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