So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
