Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
