I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
