idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
