How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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