i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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