P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
