Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
