She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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