you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
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