Kiss
Puke
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
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