Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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