I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
