He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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