Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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