Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
