Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
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