when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Randomize
