I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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