I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
