drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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