First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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