why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
