You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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